Four Emotional Phases of Your Expat Journey

By Teri Dawn Marshall

Becoming an expat isn’t just a logistical decision—it’s a deeply emotional and identity-shifting journey, especially for Americans of Color seeking liberation, safety, and a sense of belonging abroad. While the move itself might only take a few hours, the emotional transformation unfolds over four powerful stages. Understanding these phases can help you prepare, process, and find your footing as you create a life outside the United States.

1. Making the Decision: Breaking Free from the Familiar

This is the internal tug-of-war stage. You may be feeling disillusioned with life in the U.S.—exhausted by systemic racism, political instability, or simply craving a deeper sense of personal freedom. But even with a strong desire to go, fears can creep in: Am I being irresponsible? Will I regret leaving my community behind? Am I just running away?

This phase is emotionally charged with guilt, doubt, excitement, and a profound questioning of identity. Naming your “why” is essential here. Our community helps you explore this deeper truth without judgment—and gives you space to unpack the grief and joy that come with choosing yourself.

2. The Discovery Trip: Testing the Waters  

Now comes the thrill. You step into a new country and start imagining life as an expat. For many, the discovery trip is a romantic preview of what's to come: vibrant markets, friendly strangers, a slower pace of life. But the emotional undercurrent may surprise you.

You might feel both elated and uneasy—simultaneously at home and out of place. You notice cultural nuances, language differences, and maybe even local perceptions of race that differ from home. These realizations can stir up identity confusion and trigger past emotional wounds.

In our community, we help you process those first impressions honestly—beyond the Instagram photos. You’ll find voices that help you distinguish between what feels unfamiliar and what feels unsafe—and that's a vital distinction.

3. Preparing to Go: The Goodbye Phase

This is the logistics meets grief chapter. You’re downsizing, selling, organizing, saying goodbyes. But beneath the checklists are deep emotional layers: fear of failure, anxiety about leaving loved ones, and the weight of generational expectations.

For Americans of Color, this moment often brings up ancestral memories of forced displacement—adding a unique intensity to the experience of voluntary migration. That emotional complexity deserves attention, not avoidance.

Our space is designed to support you, not just your packing list. We offer emotional grounding, real stories from fellow travelers, and a shared language for what you're feeling—so you don’t have to suppress or apologize for your truth.

4. Settling In: The Real Adjustment Begins

Once you arrive, everything is new again—and reality sets in. Maybe you feel lonely. Maybe the honeymoon phase wears off. Maybe the time zone makes it harder to stay in touch with loved ones back home. Maybe you’re confronted by different racial dynamics that surprise or confuse you.

This phase is filled with both gratitude and vulnerability. You are crafting a new rhythm and reshaping your sense of home. You’ll need tools to manage culture shock, identity re-calibration, and the unpredictability of starting over in a new land.

That’s where our community becomes vital—not just for survival, but for thriving. We create a culturally safe space for you to grow, grieve, celebrate, and connect with others walking this same path.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

At every phase of this journey—whether you’re dreaming, deciding, or already living abroad—you deserve support that sees the whole you. The T.E.R.I. Talks Community is more than a podcast hub or a chat group. We are a sanctuary where American Expats of Color can process their emotional landscape with care, honesty, and radical self-love.

Because leaving America isn’t just about where you go—it’s about who you’re becoming.